¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

First homework : Things that make me happy.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-11 664

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Things that make me happy.

There are many kinds of things that make me happy.
First, delicious food makes me happy.
Eating delicious food relieves stress and makes me feel better.

Second, bright friends.
My friends give me bright energy.
This is because if I meet your friends, talk, and spend time together that i can forget about the hard and sad things and have a good time. The stories that my friends tell me are encouraging and a great help.

Lastly, there are precious families.
Families are very important people to me. My family is always on my side.
I support, understand, and always take care of many things I do.
These family actions make me happy.

These many things make me happy.
Therefore, I will try to live happier.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Hazel! ^^
Thank you for explaining your answers in detail. Keep it up! ^^
Please check the corrections below~

- T. Rina


1. There are many kinds of things that make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

2. First, delicious food makes me happy.
>> CORRECT!
OR: Eating delicious food makes me happy.

3. Eating delicious food relieves stress and makes me feel better.
>> CORRECT!

4. Second, bright friends.
>> CORRECT!
OR: Second, having cheerful friends.

5. My friends give me bright energy.
>> CORRECT!

6. This is because if I meet your friends, talk, and spend time together that i can forget about the hard and sad things and have a good time. 
>> This is because if I meet my friends, talk and spend time with them, I can forget about the hard and sad things and have a good time.
OR: This is because I can forget my problems whenever I meet my friends.

7. The stories that my friends tell me are encouraging and a great help.
>> CORRECT!

8. Lastly, there are precious families.
>> CORRECT!

9. Families are very important people to me. 
>> CORRECT!
OR: My family is very important to me.

10.My family is always on my side.
>> CORRECT!

11. I support, understand, and always take care of many things I do.
>> They support, understand and always take care of me.
OR: They support and understand me in everything that I do.

12. These family actions make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

13. These many things make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

14. Therefore, I will try to live happier.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 722
115854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 614
115853 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115852 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 841
115851 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115850 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 765
115849 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115848 ESSAY: Explain this quote: No Man Is An Island Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 653
115847 Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 507
115846 HOMEWORK ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 689
115845 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 348
115844 The upset ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115843 Discrimination ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 831
115842 Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 684
115841 Why kids are not should be read news. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 533
115840 ESSAY: Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1271
115839 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115838 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115837 writing È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115836 school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 856

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04