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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Have you ever worked in fast-paced environment?

작성자: 문*현
2022-03-13 853

회원님의 영작문

I have previous experience working in a fast-paced environment that has been stimulating and collaborative. Being fast-paced allowed me to develop a strategy in a highly competitive environment, but it was not possible without cooperation. Learning from team members with different expertise helped me to diversify planning options. When I was working at the Dow Jones Customer Service team, my role included customer retention. Since the customers did not respond well to the US-based retention strategy, I had to develop an alternative solution for Asian Pacific, which preference differs by region. Therefore, we collected the data from each call to categorize the demand. Team members also openly shared ideas based on their cultural background. For example, a Japanese colleague came up with a newsletter service, which had identical formatting of paper news, to Japanese subscribers where most of the customer base still relied on paper news. As a result, we increased the customer base to 70%.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel!

I have previous experience working in a fast-paced environment that has been stimulating and collaborative. 
>>> I have a previous experience working in a fast-paced environment that has been stimulating and collaborative. 
Being fast-paced allowed me to develop a strategy in a highly competitive environment, but it was not possible without cooperation. 
>>> correct 
Learning from team members with different expertise helped me to diversify planning options. 
>>> correct
When I was working at the Dow Jones Customer Service team, my role included customer retention. 
>>> correct
Since the customers did not respond well to the US-based retention strategy, I had to develop an alternative solution for Asian Pacific, which preference differs by region. 
>>> OR: Since the customers did not respond well to the US-based retention strategy, I had to develop an alternative solution for Asian Pacific, which is the difference on preference by region. 
Therefore, we collected the data from each call to categorize the demand. 
>>> correct
Team members also openly shared ideas based on their cultural background. 
>>> correct
For example, a Japanese colleague came up with a newsletter service, which had identical formatting of paper news, to Japanese subscribers where most of the customer base still relied on paper news. 
>>> correct
As a result, we increased the customer base to 70%.
>>> correct

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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