무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How would the world be different if all leaders were women?

작성자: 황*하
2022-03-14 873

회원님의 영작문

I think women are more delicate, considerable and careful than men. If all leaders were women, there would be a lot of conflicts between men and women because there are numerous differences between genders. I don't mean women are not competent but they can't fully understand about men's environment. There are more than two parties in a country because ruling party might carry out wrong measures, opposite parties can argue what the problems can occur. We know why god create men and women, each personnel has their roles and strengths. They can help each other with their positive abilities. I don't think it would be good if men or women become a leader in all countries or all cities. Humans are egocentric species if nobody intervene, so the government or other people have to involve what someone is doing. Therefore, our life will be bright in the complementary environment.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think women are more delicate, considerable and careful than men. 
>> CORRECT!
If all leaders were women, there would be a lot of conflicts between men and women because there are numerous differences between genders. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> There would be conflicts between men and women, if all leaders would be women.
I don't mean women are not competent but they can't fully understand about men's environment.
>> I don't mean women are not competent but they can't fully understand men's environment.
 There are more than two parties in a country because ruling party might carry out wrong measures, opposite parties can argue what the problems can occur. 
>>  There are more than two parties in a country because the ruling party might carry out wrong measures, opposite parties can argue what the problems can occur.
We know why god create men and women, each personnel has their roles and strengths. 
>> We know why God created men and women, because each personnel has their roles and strengths. 
They can help each other with their positive abilities. 
>> CORRECT!
I don't think it would be good if men or women become a leader in all countries or all cities.
>> CORRECT!
 Humans are egocentric species if nobody intervene, so the government or other people have to involve what someone is doing. 
>>  Humans are egocentric species if nobody intervenes, so the government or other people have to involve what someone is doing. 
Therefore, our life will be bright in the complementary environment.
>> CORRECT!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
115701 Do you think beauty is the same for every person? 김*환 완료 2022-01-18 989
115700 Do you think Interstella can come true? 김*우 완료 2022-01-18 952
115699 My bad accident\'s experience 이*하 완료 2022-01-18 578
115698 homework 정*원 완료 2022-01-18 944
115697 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... 황*별 완료 2022-01-18 538
115696 Why do some people like to have unusual pet? 박*연 완료 2022-01-18 2
115695 homework 감*우 완료 2022-01-18 1
115694 How do you \"call\" a taxi in your country from the side of the... 김*윤 완료 2022-01-18 916
115693 Homework 박*은 완료 2022-01-18 1
115692 homework 박*민 완료 2022-01-18 4
115691 What special features do you think should be added to computers?... 류*주 완료 2022-01-18 1382
115690 What do you think about living alone? Do you think it is good or... 변*원 완료 2022-01-18 1271
115689 Tuesday homework 류*우 완료 2022-01-18 732
115688 What is the difference between going shopping and doing the shop? 변*원 완료 2022-01-18 824
115687 Important 민*정 완료 2022-01-18 1
115686 No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes... 변*원 완료 2022-01-18 1232
115685 Essay (Jan 18th, 2022) 남*승 완료 2022-01-18 552
115684 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? 김*원 완료 2022-01-18 0
115683 writing 이*혜 완료 2022-01-18 6
115682 Homework (1/17) 이*현 완료 2022-01-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]