¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of medicine would you like to be discovered/invented?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*Áø
2022-03-14 942

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Personally, what I want is the medicine for hair loss. Of course I have abundant hair, but sometimes, whenever my hairs are pulled out, it makes me nervous about my future. Hair loss is a great problem for everyone. Nobody can be free from aging and hair loss is one of the phenomenon of aging. Furthermore hair loss brings out a huge image change. It must be in the negative way. I don't want to undergo that process. And then, I wish the medicines for incurable diseases can be invented soon. It is a great hardship for every patients who suffer from incurable diseases to endure day by day. If I could choose between inventing hair loss medicine and the medicines for incurable diseases, I would choose the medicines for incurable diseases without any hesitation. I hope the day when everyone can be truly free from all kinds of diseases will come soon. But still, the medicine for hair loss is extremely important for world-wide peace. Please somebody invents those kinds of medicine.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sue! Reading your answer really gives me more understanding of how good you are in writing. I hope those medicines will be found!-Faith-
Personally, what I want is the medicine for hair loss. 
>> CORRECT
Of course I have abundant hair, but sometimes, whenever my hairs are pulled out, it makes me nervous about my future. 
>> Of course I have abundant hair, but sometimes, whenever my hair fall out, it makes me nervous about my future. 
Hair loss is a great problem for everyone. 
>> CORRECT
OR Hair loss is everyone's common problem.
Nobody can be free from aging and hair loss is one of the phenomenon of aging. 
>> Nobody can be free from aging and hair loss is one of the phenomena of aging. 
Furthermore hair loss brings out a huge image change. 
>> Furthermore, hair loss brings out a huge image change. 
It must be in the negative way. 
>> CORRECT
I don't want to undergo that process. 
>> CORRECT
And then, I wish the medicines for incurable diseases can be invented soon. 
>> CORRECT
It is a great hardship for every patients who suffer from incurable diseases to endure day by day. 
>> It is a great hardship for every patient who suffer from incurable diseases and endure pain every day. 
If I could choose between inventing hair loss medicine and the medicines for incurable diseases, I would choose the medicines for incurable diseases without any hesitation. 
>> CORRECT
OR However, if I were to choose between them, I will definitely go for the medicines for incurable diseases.
I hope the day when everyone can be truly free from all kinds of diseases will come soon. 
>>  CORRECT
OR I am looking forward to that day where everyone will be healed.
But still, the medicine for hair loss is extremely important for world-wide peace. 
>> But still, the medicine for hair loss is extremely important for worldwide/one's peace. 
Please somebody invents those kinds of medicine.
>> Can somebody invent those kinds of medicine please?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119498 My frineds ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119497 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 3
119496 What do you think about working four days a week? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 724
119495 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 697
119494 What\'s your ideal fitness program? / What do you want to... ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 710
119493 What are the labor laws that had changed in your country? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 917
119492 Do you usually plan your weekends? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 925
119491 Do you easily trust people you barely know? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 933
119490 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 703
119489 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 594
119488 Describe the transportation system in your place. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119487 What is one food you can\'t live without? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 487
119486 What is one thing you will never change about yourself?/... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 646
119485 5/31 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 708
119484 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 2
119483 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 493
119482 My personal life¡¯s activity. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 884
119481 My favorite movie ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 968
119480 What skills would you want to develop? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 1
119479 What was the bravest thing you ever did? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04