¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could change your name would you? What would it be? Why this name?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Áø
2022-03-14 504

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I wouldn't. Because I'm already satisfied with my name and my parents gave me the name after thinking. My sister's name is Sujin and my name is Yejin. My name can show the bond with my sister.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Rachel!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I wouldn't. Because I'm already satisfied with my name and my parents gave me the name after thinking. 

>> I wouldn't because I'm already satisfied with my name and my parents gave me my name after a lot of thought. 

My sister's name is Sujin and my name is Yejin. 

>> CORRECT!

My name can show the bond with my sister.

>> My name can show the bond I have with my sister.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117279 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 0
117278 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 1399
117277 2022.3.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 1439
117276 If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Why? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1131
117275 3/11 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 611
117274 I think cooking is not an art Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 975
117273 Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 567
117272 What is the most dangerous sport? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 771
117271 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117270 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 3
117269 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117268 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117267 What was you most unforgettable moment in your hometown? Why? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 851
117266 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 696
117265 What is your favorite place. Why? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 975
117264 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117263 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117262 Have you ever eaten something that made you ill? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1520
117261 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 572
117260 First homework : Things that make me happy. À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 621

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04