¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have you learned from it.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-03-15 701

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was at 10 years old, I stole money from my grandmother's wallet. so my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. Fortunately, no one saw it because it was an apartment. I learned it's hard to make money. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!

Oh dear! I was shocked when I was reading your answer. That experience is eye-opening. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

When I was at 10 years old, I stole money from my grandmother's wallet. 
>> CORRECT

so my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. 
>>So my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. 

Fortunately, no one saw it because it was an apartment.
>> CORRECT

 I learned it's hard to make money. :)
>>  I learned it's hard to earn money. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116701 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 719
116700 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 905
116699 Do you think school uniforms make social differences smaller? Do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 665
116698 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1286
116697 Action movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116696 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 635
116695 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 678
116694 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 453
116693 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 495
116692 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1
116691 What is your favorite English movie and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 768
116690 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1458
116689 What K-pop song would you recommend to someone who is not a... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 300
116688 Feb 22th, 2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 292
116687 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 975
116686 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 4
116685 Why do you think family is important? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 4
116684 hw 2.22 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 438
116683 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2
116682 gift! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04