¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have you learned from it.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-03-15 803

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was at 10 years old, I stole money from my grandmother's wallet. so my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. Fortunately, no one saw it because it was an apartment. I learned it's hard to make money. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!

Oh dear! I was shocked when I was reading your answer. That experience is eye-opening. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

When I was at 10 years old, I stole money from my grandmother's wallet. 
>> CORRECT

so my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. 
>>So my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. 

Fortunately, no one saw it because it was an apartment.
>> CORRECT

 I learned it's hard to make money. :)
>>  I learned it's hard to earn money. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116509 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 860
116508 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working from home? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 354
116507 homeowork ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 325
116506 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 507
116505 Home work day1 ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116504 Best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 540
116503 What do you think about dutch treat? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 2
116502 Is education related to getting a degree? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116501 2/16 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 458
116500 What is one thing you have never done but would like to do? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 816
116499 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 0
116498 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116497 Railway vs road ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 684
116496 What are the three things you would like to accomplish/have... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116495 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 532
116494 My favorite fairy tale characters ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 611
116493 Is it important to help other people? Why or why not? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 477
116492 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 364
116491 Do you like dogs? Why do people call the dog, man\'s best friend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 617
116490 Cafe ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04