¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Third homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-15 1026

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best way to find a job.

First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.

And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts have a good influence.
People like positive people and prefer sincere people.

Finally, you have to express yourself.
You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.

This effort will help you find a job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great Tuesday to you, Hazel! ^^
I agree with your thoughts and ideas. 
Your sentences are correct and I just provided some alternatives. ^^
See you in class!

- T. Rina


1. First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
>> CORRECT!

2. The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
>> CORRECT!
OR: The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether he or she gets hired or not. 

3. You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.
>> You have to develop and study your abilities to improve yourself.

4. And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
>> CORRECT!

5. Positive thoughts have a good influence.
>> CORRECT!

6. People like positive people and prefer sincere people.
>> CORRECT!
OR: A lot of people prefer optimistic and sincere individuals.

7. Finally, you have to express yourself.
>> CORRECT!

8. You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
>> CORRECT!

9. It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.
>> CORRECT!

10. This effort will help you find a job.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117970 Mentally distressed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 4
117969 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 698
117968 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? Why... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 799
117967 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 444
117966 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 0
117965 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 485
117964 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 493
117963 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 0
117962 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 420
117961 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 425
117960 Hello kate, ÀÌ*µ¿ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 2
117959 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1
117958 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 3
117957 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1
117956 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 910
117955 violence ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 664
117954 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 490
117953 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 834
117952 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 547
117951 Have you ever done a small crime before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04