¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have you learned from it.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-03-15 1130

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One of my biggest mistakes is I opened the car's door in the running car.
It was a mistake but It was able to be a very big accident.
But Fortunately, I closed the car's door, and there was no any accident.
But I got shocked after it, and I learned that I have to be careful in the car.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!

Oh dear. You should be very careful. Good thing nothing bad happened to you. That sounded scary. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

One of my biggest mistakes is I opened the car's door in the running car.
>> One of my biggest mistakes is I opened the car's door while it was running. 

It was a mistake but It was able to be a very big accident.
>> It was a mistake and I was  supposed to be in a very big accident. 

But Fortunately, I closed the car's door, and there was no any accident.
>> But fortunately I closed it immediately. 

But I got shocked after it, and I learned that I have to be careful in the car.
>> I was so shocked after it and I learned that I should be careful when I am in car. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116267 Definitely Philippines :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 846
116266 How do different types of weather affect you emotions? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116265 My best day. Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 511
116264 How does free time activities differ now compared with the past? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 623
116263 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 809
116262 pick pick ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116261 hw ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1433
116260 What would you do if you woke up one morning and all of the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1094
116259 homework.2 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 693
116258 homework.1 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 884
116257 Why I don\'t want to live in another country. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 599
116256 Wht I like my city ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1483
116255 2 in 3 young people positive about plant-based meat consumption À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116254 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 717
116253 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 2
116252 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 896
116251 Kids should play chess with their friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 749
116250 Benefits of using computer or laptop ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1373
116249 resilient ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 806
116248 When a stranger greets you, do you greet him/her back? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 9

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04