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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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What weakness in the past that you already overcame?

작성자: 류*선
2022-03-16 315

회원님의 영작문

I have a weakness with poor health. I get tired quickly no matter what I do. I lose my concentration quickly due to weak stamina. That's a big one of my prayer lists. If I am weak physically, I can't do anything. When I was pregnant, I got sick a lot. I stayed most of the time at the hospital. After I gave to birth my daughter, I lose my health more than usual. Also, when I drive a car, I have carsick serious. So I usually don't prefer to drive far or get an airplane. I have a trauma. I know my worst weakness is weak health. So when I meet people, I usually lost my energy a lot. After the meeting, I can't do anything. Sometimes I avoid meeting people. I would like to overcome it seriously. I go outside to walk with my daughter every day because of my health. I want to be a healthy mom to take care daughter well. Weak health increases fear. So I think a lot before taking action. That's one of my other weaknesses. So I am in need of God's help.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Jane! I know that we both believe God is our Greatest Healer. Just stay positive and healthy! Take care always!-Faith-
I have a weakness with poor health. 
>> My weakness is my poor health. 
I get tired quickly no matter what I do. 
>> CORRECT
I lose my concentration quickly due to weak stamina. 
>> CORRECT
That's a big one of my prayer lists. 
>> That's one of my important prayer lists. 
If I am weak physically, I can't do anything. 
>> CORRECT
When I was pregnant, I got sick a lot. 
>> CORRECT
I stayed most of the time at the hospital.
>> CORRECT
OR I had to be confined  to the hospital oftentimes. 
After I gave to birth my daughter, I lose my health more than usual. 
>> After I gave birth to my daughter, my health deteriorated more than usual. 
Also, when I drive a car, I have carsick serious. 
>> Also, when I drive a car, I have a serious motion sickness.
So I usually don't prefer to drive far or get an airplane. 
>> So, I usually don't prefer to drive far or take an airplane. 
I have a trauma.
>> CORRECT
I know my worst weakness is weak health. 
>> I know my worst weakness is my weak body. 
So when I meet people, I usually lost my energy a lot. 
>> So, when I meet people, I usually lose my energy a lot. 
After the meeting, I can't do anything. 
>> CORRECT
Sometimes I avoid meeting people. 
>> Sometimes, I avoid meeting people. 
I would like to overcome it seriously. 
>> CORRECT
I go outside to walk with my daughter every day because of my health. 
>> CORRECT
I want to be a healthy mom to take care daughter well. 
>> I want to be a healthy mom to take care of my daughter well. 
Weak health increases fear. So I think a lot before taking action.
>> A weak body increases fear, so I think a lot before taking actions.
 That's one of my other weaknesses. 
 >> I must admit that's one of my other weaknesses. 
So I am in need of God's help.
>> So, I am in need of God's help.
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