¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2022-03-18 1131

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! 

Yes, we should be contented with what we have in life. Our appearance brings us character. It's our identity. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
>> Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance and I am one of them. 

I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
>> I take care of my appearance instead of changing it. 

I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
>> CORRECT

Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119398 Training ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119397 Notification ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119396 Healthy life! À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 686
119395 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119394 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119393 Hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119392 Safe ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119391 Drama ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 3
119390 What activity do you like best when you are with your book club... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 702
119389 What do you think is the importance of having personal space and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 569
119388 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 394
119387 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 601
119386 5.27 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 783
119385 Living below the poverty line. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 640
119384 Writing Task(May 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 606
119383 5/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 561
119382 Writing Task(May 25th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 696
119381 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 0
119380 When is not communicating the best? Share your answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 635
119379 Parliamentary election ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 778

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04