¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2022-03-18 1149

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! 

Yes, we should be contented with what we have in life. Our appearance brings us character. It's our identity. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
>> Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance and I am one of them. 

I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
>> I take care of my appearance instead of changing it. 

I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
>> CORRECT

Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119281 What\\\'s the most common thing you and your siblings fight... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 590
119280 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119279 Studying While Listening to Music ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 640
119278 [Homework] Q. What is your dream job? Why? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119277 How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 712
119276 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 703
119275 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 620
119274 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 790
119273 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 664
119272 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 688
119271 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 762
119270 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 667
119269 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 575
119268 The best good month to get married ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 1
119267 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 1
119266 5.23 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 746
119265 Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 0
119264 How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 755
119263 Do you think watching TV is educational? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 840
119262 Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care.... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04