¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2022-03-18 1082

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! 

Yes, we should be contented with what we have in life. Our appearance brings us character. It's our identity. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
>> Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance and I am one of them. 

I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
>> I take care of my appearance instead of changing it. 

I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
>> CORRECT

Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116332 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116331 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116330 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 10
116329 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 730
116328 What do children do at a playground? / What do you play with... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 758
116327 lesson 1 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 695
116326 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 6
116325 What would life be like without friends? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 957
116324 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 587
116323 ESSAY: What is the best and most enjoyable activity for the... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 735
116322 Homework (2/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116321 22-02-11 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116320 22-02-09 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116319 Korea: High-profile suicides spark cyber-bullying petition À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116318 How do you manage your anger at work? Share your thoughts and... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116317 How do you respectfully oppose someone\'s opinions? Answer in a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116316 How do you use body language when you communicate in English? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 792
116315 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 12
116314 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1643
116313 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04