¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My weakness

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-03-18 766

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

These day, I have a lot of thinking.
I don't know why I feel so strange.
feel like one of part heart is empty and lonely.
Now I think I'm in a difficult situation mentally.
I'm really busy, but I don't know how to deal with this empty feeling.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne! 

I notice that too. This has been your problem for a while. It actually saddens me. We go through these kinds of phases in our lives but don't worry. Everything will eventually make sense. Just be patient and focus on yourself. I'm always here for you. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

These day, I have a lot of thinking.
>> These days, I haven't been thinking a lot. 

I don't know why I feel so strange.
>> CORRECT

feel like one of part heart is empty and lonely.
>> It feels like one part of my heart is lonely and empty. 

Now I think I'm in a difficult situation mentally.
>> I think that I'm in a difficult situation mentally. 

I'm really busy, but I don't know how to deal with this empty feeling.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118345 my answer ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 351
118344 Are online dating sites just a scam, or can they form lasting... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 1
118343 Self Introduction ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 425
118342 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 345
118341 Which part of your childhood do you wish you could change? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 399
118340 What is your favorite book and why? What lessons can you learn... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-20 404
118339 The influence of books. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 233
118338 homework ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 293
118337 What positive effect has stress on you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0
118336 writing task - Tony ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118335 4/19 homework ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 286
118334 The best place in my city Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 938
118333 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2
118332 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118331 What is your must-have item when traveling? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 254
118330 skate ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 6
118329 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118328 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 3
118327 What are some of the advantages of books vs. movies? How about... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 378
118326 Which would you choose: A stressful job with very high pay or a... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04