¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Mar 18th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-21 842

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

How do you feel about helping others?
It feels great.
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they¡¯d been waiting for a long time. We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Oh, that is so nice of you and your friends. I bet it was one of your wonderful experience in life. 

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
======================================
It feels great.
>> Correct! 
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. 
>> Correct! 
And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
>> Correct! 
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. 
>>I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lots of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. 
They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. 
>> Correct! 
But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. 
>> But for a few days, I and my friends planned to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. 
We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
>> We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to love when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they¡¯d been waiting for a long time. 
>> Correct! 
We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.
>> Correct! OR We communicated with each other without a need to say a word.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116946 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 527
116945 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 397
116944 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 435
116943 03.01 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 0
116942 Study Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 380
116941 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 430
116940 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 437
116939 How could public transport in your city be improved? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 566
116938 What do you think are the different reasons for people to want... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 3904
116937 2022.3.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 424
116936 How do you understand inflation? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 603
116935 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 604
116934 I think it\'s acutally not sad story :) Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 695
116933 If you were a very rich person, Where would you go for your next... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 403
116932 Do you think ego also affects a person\'s leadership? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116931 What food can you cook or prepare well? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116930 3/1 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 598
116929 Is going to coffee shops popular in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116928 The war between Ukraine and Russia ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 805
116927 Can you consider inciting a war a solution to diplomatic issues? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04