¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Mar 18th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-21 956

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

How do you feel about helping others?
It feels great.
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they¡¯d been waiting for a long time. We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Oh, that is so nice of you and your friends. I bet it was one of your wonderful experience in life. 

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
======================================
It feels great.
>> Correct! 
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. 
>> Correct! 
And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
>> Correct! 
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. 
>>I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lots of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. 
They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. 
>> Correct! 
But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. 
>> But for a few days, I and my friends planned to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. 
We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
>> We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to love when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they¡¯d been waiting for a long time. 
>> Correct! 
We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.
>> Correct! OR We communicated with each other without a need to say a word.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117577 Do you think it\'s okay to free animals that have been in... Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1001
117576 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1764
117575 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 4
117574 In a scale of 1-10, 10 as the highest, how well do you think is... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117573 What are some good habits that you have? Do you have any bad... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1115
117572 Talk about your memorable school trip. ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1363
117571 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1135
117570 Homework!(About beauty) À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 689
117569 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 705
117568 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1391
117567 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1019
117566 Do you believe that dreams can sometimes predict the future? Why... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 976
117565 What keeps you awake at night sometimes? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1001
117564 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117563 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117562 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117561 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117560 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117559 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117558 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 988

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04