¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework!(About beauty)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-21 860

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it depends on the job.

People who show their appearance around need a beautiful appearance. For example, celebrities and people in the service industry can benefit more by cultivating themselves and looking beautiful.

However, people with other jobs don't have to be beautiful. Instead, you have to develop your own abilities and express yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Monday, Hazel! ^^
You've made great sentences in this composition. 
Keep it up!

- T. Rina

1. I think it depends on the job.
>> CORRECT!

2. People who show their appearance around need a beautiful appearance. 
>> CORRECT!
OR: People who always appear in front of many people need to look physically beautiful.

3. For example, celebrities and people in the service industry can benefit more by cultivating themselves and looking beautiful.
>> CORRECT!

4. However, people with other jobs don't have to be beautiful. 
>> CORRECT!

5. Instead, you have to develop your own abilities and express yourself.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115924 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115923 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 901
115922 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1372
115921 Old People and Young People ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 2242
115920 Is there any kind of meat you would not eat? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1057
115919 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 544
115918 Why do people sometimes procrastinates? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 2
115917 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 0
115916 Have you ever forgotten a deadline? What did you do? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 747
115915 Homework (1/25) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115914 Essay (Jan 25th,2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 656
115913 What is your ideal weekend? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 3
115912 Why name is not very important. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 564
115911 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 679
115910 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 926
115909 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115908 Are men better drivers than women? Why do you say so? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 779
115907 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1010
115906 helping endangered animals. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115905 Tell me about your favorite actor. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04