¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Talk about your memorable school trip.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Áø
2022-03-21 1430

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 16 years old, the school trip was the worst I experience. The school trip's place was science museum. (other school next to ours went to an amusement park) And all of activity was boring. They even brought our phones until the last day we stayed. (the other school didn't do that)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Rachel!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


When I was 16 years old, the school trip was the worst I experience. 

>> When I was 16 years old, the school trip was the worst I experienced. 

The school trip's place was science museum. (other school next to ours went to an amusement park) And all of activity was boring. 

>> The school trip was to a science museum, and all the activities were boring. 

They even brought our phones until the last day we stayed. (the other school didn't do that)

>> They even kept our phones until the end of the day.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117053 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 909
117052 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 4
117051 This is what I think about tattoos. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 745
117050 Kids\' jobs is studying students ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 644
117049 What is your favorite game to play? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 699
117048 lesson 9 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 487
117047 Please tell me about your country\'s season? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117046 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 832
117045 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 551
117044 I¡¯m going to give you a situation to act out. You just stepped... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117043 How do you feel about tattoos? When you see somebody with a lot... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 601
117042 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117041 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117040 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117039 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117038 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1014
117037 Are you concerned about Internet privacy? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117036 How do you think should wars be stopped and prevented? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 490
117035 If you were a very rich person, where would you go for your next... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117034 Our thoughts determine our happiness. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 718

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04