¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it is important for men to join the military service in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-03-21 1977

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I do. It is very important because that is the law. So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. I don't like demanding men to join the military. However, the war didn't end. We don't know when the war end and begin again. So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. I'm very thankful to them. I hope that they can be rewarded.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, people feel uneasy about war. The country would benefit from this a lot but sometimes it also has some disadvantages. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes, I do. 
>> CORRECT

It is very important because that is the law. 
>> CORRECT

So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. 
>>So if someone breaks the rule, he must take responsibilities for his actions. 

I don't like demanding men to join the military. 
>> CORRECT

However, the war didn't end. 
>> However, the war hasn't ended yet. 

We don't know when the war end and begin again. 
>> We don't know when the war will begin and end again. 

So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. 
>> Koreans feel anxious about it. Thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. 

I'm very thankful to them. 
>> CORRECT

I hope that they can be rewarded.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120478 Can curfews lead to arguments between parents and teens? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 978
120477 Who is the person that you admire the most? . ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1385
120476 What do you both like doing with your closest friend? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1024
120475 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1224
120474 What was the last thing you returned or exchanged? Why?/ How... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2
120473 What is your daily routine? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 951
120472 Do you think people make bad decisions because of peer pressure?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1514
120471 Which is better, renting or buying? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 4
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1924
120469 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 989
120468 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1032
120467 Who in your family or among your friends has the most... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 547
120466 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1098
120465 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 772
120464 How much time do you spend listening to music? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 686
120463 7/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 746
120462 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 843
120461 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120460 What new hobbies would you like to try? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 758
120459 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04