¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it is important for men to join the military service in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-03-21 1562

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I do. It is very important because that is the law. So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. I don't like demanding men to join the military. However, the war didn't end. We don't know when the war end and begin again. So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. I'm very thankful to them. I hope that they can be rewarded.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, people feel uneasy about war. The country would benefit from this a lot but sometimes it also has some disadvantages. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes, I do. 
>> CORRECT

It is very important because that is the law. 
>> CORRECT

So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. 
>>So if someone breaks the rule, he must take responsibilities for his actions. 

I don't like demanding men to join the military. 
>> CORRECT

However, the war didn't end. 
>> However, the war hasn't ended yet. 

We don't know when the war end and begin again. 
>> We don't know when the war will begin and end again. 

So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. 
>> Koreans feel anxious about it. Thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. 

I'm very thankful to them. 
>> CORRECT

I hope that they can be rewarded.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116366 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1
116365 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 620
116364 How do you feel about making mistakes? Do you worry about it? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 660
116363 The ocean À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 1
116362 next from 14th È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 13
116361 next from 14th È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 4
116360 scholarship application È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 14
116359 What is the best part of your day? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 2
116358 2022.2. 1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 905
116357 2022.2.10 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 670
116356 Eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 2
116355 What is your favorite weekend activity? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 475
116354 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 360
116353 Writing Task (Feb 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 514
116352 homework.3 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 459
116351 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 384
116350 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 583
116349 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 1117
116348 If you could magically gain the ability to do any sport well,... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 860
116347 ESSAY QUESTION: What¡¯s your biggest goal in life? How are goals... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 732

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04