¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why is obesity increasing?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÎ
2022-03-22 1092

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As the quality of modern lives is improved, people's eating habits are also changed. This is because they seek convenient life due to their busy routines. For instance, people prefer to eat simplify, such as junk food. These foods are lopsided with nutrients. People can buy it easily on the street, and also they don't need to cook long time. Also, the delicious, sharp-taste and cheap price attract the people. However, these foods have plenty of evidence that is proven scientifically. First of all, food has high calories. Fast food use a lot of oil and condiments, and nutrients are not good. Because of instant food's fats, modern people easily can get weight. In addition, people use their own car or public transportation. This circumstance reduces people's physical activities and ruins human body balance. The development of technology increases obesity thesedays. The worker-holic situation makes the trend that people prefer to have simplified instant food that can eat easily and fastly.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jin!
Thank you for your ideas.  We really need to be healthy even if we are surrounded by an unhealthy kind of diet.  There are still many ways to maintain good health.  ^^

~T. Maine


As the quality of modern lives is improved, people's eating habits are also changed. 
>>Correct. 
This is because they seek convenient life due to their busy routines. 
>>This is because they seek a convenient life due to their busy routines. 
For instance, people prefer to eat simplify, such as junk food. 
>>For instance, people prefer to eat simply such as junk food. 
These foods are lopsided with nutrients. 
>>Correct. 
People can buy it easily on the street, and also they don't need to cook long time. 
>>People can buy it easily on the street, and they also don't need to cook it for a long time. 
Also, the delicious, sharp-taste and cheap price attract the people.
>>Correct. 
However, these foods have plenty of evidence that is proven scientifically. 
>>Correct. 
First of all, food has high calories. 
>>Correct. 
Fast food use a lot of oil and condiments, and nutrients are not good.
>>Fast food uses a lot of oil, condiments, and other contents which are not good for the health. 
Because of instant food's fats, modern people easily can get weight. 
>>Correct. 
In addition, people use their own car or public transportation. 
>>Correct. 
This circumstance reduces people's physical activities and ruins human body balance. 
>>Correct. 
The development of technology increases obesity thesedays. 
>>The development of technology increases obesity these days. 
The worker-holic situation makes the trend that people prefer to have simplified instant food that can eat easily and fastly.
>>The workaholic situation makes the trend that people prefer to have simplified as instant.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116396 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 431
116395 homework.4 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 693
116394 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116393 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 4
116392 What are your dreams or goals in life? / What will you do to... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 757
116391 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 732
116390 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116389 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 753
116388 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 900
116387 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 742
116386 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1318
116385 Homework(2/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116384 What do you love about your work? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116383 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1036
116382 Why do you think school clubs or organizations are important? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 540
116381 My Personality ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1053
116380 HOMEWORK: Why is it easy or hard for you to introduce someone to... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 710
116379 What makes socializing difficult? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116378 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1227
116377 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 551

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04