¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-03-23 1246

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'd like to change a Confucian culture in South Korea. Because It makes me feel intimidated. When I suggest opinions to the older people. And it's the culture that forces labor, so I want to change it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, that culture should be changed. Everyone should be treated equally. We should have the rights to speak our hearts out and be listened to.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I'd like to change a Confucian culture in South Korea. Because It makes me feel intimidated. 
>> I'd like to change the Confucian culture in South Korea because it intimidates me. 

When I suggest opinions to the older people. 
>> When I suggest opinions to older people that me, they don't listen. 

And it's the culture that forces labor, so I want to change it.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118775 What other jobs did you have in the past? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 2
118774 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 357
118773 Best and Worst ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 480
118772 In your opinion, Is aging more difficult for men or women? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 525
118771 Money ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 2
118770 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 385
118769 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 439
118768 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 3
118767 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 1
118766 What are the things that usually annoy you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 498
118765 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 1
118764 Iook at here Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 404
118763 What are the things that usually annoy you? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 1
118762 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 442
118761 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 427
118760 Which picture book is your favorite and why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 476
118759 What was your dream job when you were young? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 3
118758 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-05 2
118757 Homework - 1. Self Introduction ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 7
118756 5/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-04 376

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04