¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-03-23 1437

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'd like to change a Confucian culture in South Korea. Because It makes me feel intimidated. When I suggest opinions to the older people. And it's the culture that forces labor, so I want to change it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, that culture should be changed. Everyone should be treated equally. We should have the rights to speak our hearts out and be listened to.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I'd like to change a Confucian culture in South Korea. Because It makes me feel intimidated. 
>> I'd like to change the Confucian culture in South Korea because it intimidates me. 

When I suggest opinions to the older people. 
>> When I suggest opinions to older people that me, they don't listen. 

And it's the culture that forces labor, so I want to change it.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116684 hw 2.22 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 714
116683 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2
116682 gift! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116681 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 539
116680 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1
116679 Korea to make public food prices at franchise to tame inflation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1
116678 kits ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 718
116677 Tell me the time when you had to prioritize ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1171
116676 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1527
116675 What physical feature attracts you the most? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1
116674 2022.2.21 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 871
116673 2022.2.18 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1090
116672 Homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 0
116671 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1015
116670 My exercise ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1026
116669 What is your favorite English movie and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 933
116668 Lesson Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 853
116667 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 896
116666 difficulties and problems at work ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 5
116665 Tell me about your workplace ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04