¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-03-23 575

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to change the culture which prefer men. From old times, there was a culture which prefer men. Maybe it is because men are strong and can carry on a family line. So, when boys were born, people welcomed them. In contrast, when girls were born, people didn't welcome. We can see these in the Korean history movies. I think that this is very bad. Of course it is disappearing now. However, some people still have the culture.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, there is gender inequality. We should always remember to treat everyone equally. There are a lot of things that women can do as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to change the culture which prefer men. 
>> I want to change the culture where in people prefer men in terms of everything. 

From old times, there was a culture which prefer men. 
>> Even in the old times, they usually prefer men in everything. 

Maybe it is because men are strong and can carry on a family line.
>> CORRECT

So, when boys were born, people welcomed them. 
>> CORRECT

In contrast, when girls were born, people didn't welcome. 
>> CORRECT

We can see these in the Korean history movies. 
>> We can see this in Korean history movies. 

I think that this is very bad. 
>> CORRECT

Of course it is disappearing now. 
>> Of course, it has already disappeared now. 

However, some people still have the culture
>> However, some people still have this culture

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118618 What is your worst experience in life that you can\'t forget?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 0
118617 2022.4.28 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 658
118616 Should you give your best on your first day of work in your... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 606
118615 What other language do you want to learn to speak? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118614 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 585
118613 Writing Task(Apr 29th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 879
118612 82/4 krowemoh ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 652
118611 What are the five most important things you should take on a... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 742
118610 In your viewpoint, what are the advantages and disadvantages of... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 576
118609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 1
118608 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118607 hello Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 640
118606 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118605 I hate homework. ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 4
118604 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 2
118603 When was your most memorable school reunion? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 750
118602 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 3
118601 Do you think people should take a shower or a bath twice a day?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 685
118600 What new clothes would you like to buy if you had lots of money?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 571
118599 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04