¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-03-23 534

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to change the culture which prefer men. From old times, there was a culture which prefer men. Maybe it is because men are strong and can carry on a family line. So, when boys were born, people welcomed them. In contrast, when girls were born, people didn't welcome. We can see these in the Korean history movies. I think that this is very bad. Of course it is disappearing now. However, some people still have the culture.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, there is gender inequality. We should always remember to treat everyone equally. There are a lot of things that women can do as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to change the culture which prefer men. 
>> I want to change the culture where in people prefer men in terms of everything. 

From old times, there was a culture which prefer men. 
>> Even in the old times, they usually prefer men in everything. 

Maybe it is because men are strong and can carry on a family line.
>> CORRECT

So, when boys were born, people welcomed them. 
>> CORRECT

In contrast, when girls were born, people didn't welcome. 
>> CORRECT

We can see these in the Korean history movies. 
>> We can see this in Korean history movies. 

I think that this is very bad. 
>> CORRECT

Of course it is disappearing now. 
>> Of course, it has already disappeared now. 

However, some people still have the culture
>> However, some people still have this culture

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116452 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 480
116451 It is the world where many people live together. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 2
116450 What is your favorite restaurant and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116449 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1003
116448 I don\'t believe in fortune tellers. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 2
116447 How I learn! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 816
116446 I will make my mother\'s own Bibimbap ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 814
116445 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 760
116444 where and what do you want to eat today? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116443 Are you a healthy person? How often do you get sick? What are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 964
116442 Why do people need friends? What can happen if a person has no... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1084
116441 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 3
116440 cafes~~ ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116439 Who do you usually ask for help? / What kind of help do you need... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 834
116438 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 693
116437 Govt. considering requiring at-home COVID-19 tests for young... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116436 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 838
116435 Make a sentence using the given word. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 660
116434 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 656
116433 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 686

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04