¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-03-23 606

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What should your government do about your problem of an old age society? Share your answer in a few sentences.

According to news, the population has been decreasing since 2020. The government keeps pay attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.

It seem to be an error in my feedback. Some of feedbacks is same sentences. Could you check this? Thank you.

I hope your arthritis gets better soon. Have a meaningful day too. Donna!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Hae Ju!

First of all, my apologies again for the same feedback on your sentences. They have been  rectified on your page. Here they are as well: 

1. Yeah, I'm back to work from last Friday.
>> Correct!
>> Yeah, I have been back to work since last Friday.

4. Good point is I go to the Pilates today.
>> The good (point/ thing) is I will go to Pilates today.

6. I really want to travel the world with ship.
>> Correct!
Or:  I really want to travel the world with a ship.

7. Recently, I watched the YouTube.
>> Recently, I watched YouTube.

I am not sure why I missed to check so many sentences today but I promise to  never commit the same mistakes again. 

Anyway, my foot is absolutely alright now! Like magic, it disappeared!

Meanwhile, here on your answer, I agree with you that the older people need to be convinced that they can have children and the government will support them. Thank you very much for your time in reading your sentences on your page. I hope that the grammar suggestions can help you in one way or another to memorize grammar patterns.

Take care and see you again on Friday!

Good night! ^^

-T. Donna =)

According to news, the population has been decreasing since 2020. 
>> Correct!

The government keeps pay attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.
>> The government should keep paying attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.

It seem to be an error in my feedback. Some of feedbacks is same sentences. 
>>  There seems to be an error in my feedback. Some of the feedbacks are the same sentences. 

Could you check this? Thank you.
>> Correct!

I hope your arthritis gets better soon. Have a meaningful day too. Donna!
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118944 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 517
118943 How would your life change if you could do whatever you want? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 424
118942 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118941 Cover letter ¿Â*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 477
118940 resume ¿Â*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 420
118939 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118938 Uniform ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 7
118937 What do you do when you plan to visit a place for the first time? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118936 What gadget do you have that is not as useful as before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118935 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 510
118934 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118933 What kinds of friend qualities I like ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 363
118932 Bad manners what I hate. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 421
118931 Find a job À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 533
118930 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 592
118929 Homework and .. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 527
118928 52/1212 H2O2M2E2W2O2R2K2 ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 474
118927 What\'s your favorite gadget? Please some details in the next... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 475
118926 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 1
118925 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04