¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Military Service

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ì
2022-03-23 931

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is important to serve the military service in Korea. Because Korea is war country, so I think it is importable to men to go serve military service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Alex! 

Yes, that's true. This is for the safety and protection of South Korea against other countries that wants to colonize it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think it is important to serve the military service in Korea. 
>> I think it is important to serve the military service in Korea because our country is in war. 

Because Korea is war country, so I think it is importable to men to go serve military service.
>> This is why I think that it is important for men to serve the military. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118431 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 847
118430 What is your type of personality? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 498
118429 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 1
118428 part1-2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 552
118427 part1-2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 493
118426 What kind of challenge would analytics department and Bloomberg... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 541
118425 Describe your understanding and motivation on the role of an... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 472
118424 3rd assignment À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 760
118423 What do you think should we do before job interviews? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 797
118422 Howework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 648
118421 202.4.21 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 644
118420 What sports can you play? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 580
118419 What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 0
118418 What do you think should we do before job interviews? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 808
118417 Are you good at memorizing? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 846
118416 What is your idea of the best travel experience? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 635
118415 4/21 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 751
118414 Handwriting and personality. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 537
118413 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118412 I like BTS ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04