¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I will advise them to stop smoking.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-24 1122

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will advise them to stop smoking. Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person. Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. I have two sons. One is a high school student and the other is a college student. Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. I think prior education is the best.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

As I said, good advice! It is still important for kids to learn on their own. We can educate them well so that they will make proper choices. Parents who are strict with their children without educating them to make children more curious so they tend to try the vice more. I do hope more children get educated.

For today's homework, great sentences! Again, there are sentences best merged into one. Also, very important: please avoid starting your sentences with 'and', 'so', 'but' and 'because'. These might be normal when speaking, but not advisable when writing.

Keep it up, Elliot! I love your thoughts and your essays have great substance.
Have a nice weekend!
-Teacher Violet

I will advise them to stop smoking.
>> CORRECT!

Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking.  
>> Even though I have never smoked, I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. 

So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person.
>> That's why if someone quits smoking, we think of him as a great person. 

Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. 
>> Nevertheless, I know some people who quit smoking. 

So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. 
>> So, if he strongly decides to do it and his family helps them, he can do it. 

But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.
>> If they smoke, I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. 
>> CORRECT!

I have two sons. 
>> CORRECT!

One is a high school student and the other is a college student. 
>> CORRECT!

Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. 
>> I repeatedly tell them not to learn to smoke. 

I think prior education is the best.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118961 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118960 Why do people sometimes think that doing homework is boring? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118959 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118958 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118957 How often do you travel? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 650
118956 Strange food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 776
118955 Keeping myself updated. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118954 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 626
118953 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 506
118952 [Homework] Please tell me about your favorite restaurant. ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118951 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 627
118950 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 664
118949 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 526
118948 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 521
118947 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 676
118946 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 679
118945 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 0
118944 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 721
118943 How would your life change if you could do whatever you want? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 564
118942 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04