¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I will advise them to stop smoking.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-24 1086

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will advise them to stop smoking. Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person. Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. I have two sons. One is a high school student and the other is a college student. Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. I think prior education is the best.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

As I said, good advice! It is still important for kids to learn on their own. We can educate them well so that they will make proper choices. Parents who are strict with their children without educating them to make children more curious so they tend to try the vice more. I do hope more children get educated.

For today's homework, great sentences! Again, there are sentences best merged into one. Also, very important: please avoid starting your sentences with 'and', 'so', 'but' and 'because'. These might be normal when speaking, but not advisable when writing.

Keep it up, Elliot! I love your thoughts and your essays have great substance.
Have a nice weekend!
-Teacher Violet

I will advise them to stop smoking.
>> CORRECT!

Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking.  
>> Even though I have never smoked, I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. 

So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person.
>> That's why if someone quits smoking, we think of him as a great person. 

Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. 
>> Nevertheless, I know some people who quit smoking. 

So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. 
>> So, if he strongly decides to do it and his family helps them, he can do it. 

But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.
>> If they smoke, I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. 
>> CORRECT!

I have two sons. 
>> CORRECT!

One is a high school student and the other is a college student. 
>> CORRECT!

Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. 
>> I repeatedly tell them not to learn to smoke. 

I think prior education is the best.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118652 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 2
118651 New food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 2
118650 Have you ever missed your last train or bus home? If so, how did... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 547
118649 What is the worst dream you\'ve ever had? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 527
118648 When I was young ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-01 3
118647 Learn from mistake ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 3
118646 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 0
118645 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 1
118644 Ticket refund ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 5
118643 SMS-mobile phone ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 4
118642 29 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 655
118641 4/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 683
118640 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118639 In your country, what is the most strict policy that you know? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 490
118638 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 574
118637 What are your plans for this weekend? What did you do last... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 632
118636 Homework : Which one do you think is better, electronic books or... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118635 Do you expect a gift from your parents every time it\'s your... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 674
118634 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 664
118633 What are the times of the year that you give gifts? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04