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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I will advise them to stop smoking.

작성자: 김*준
2022-03-24 992

회원님의 영작문

I will advise them to stop smoking. Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person. Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. I have two sons. One is a high school student and the other is a college student. Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. I think prior education is the best.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Elliot!

As I said, good advice! It is still important for kids to learn on their own. We can educate them well so that they will make proper choices. Parents who are strict with their children without educating them to make children more curious so they tend to try the vice more. I do hope more children get educated.

For today's homework, great sentences! Again, there are sentences best merged into one. Also, very important: please avoid starting your sentences with 'and', 'so', 'but' and 'because'. These might be normal when speaking, but not advisable when writing.

Keep it up, Elliot! I love your thoughts and your essays have great substance.
Have a nice weekend!
-Teacher Violet

I will advise them to stop smoking.
>> CORRECT!

Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking.  
>> Even though I have never smoked, I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. 

So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person.
>> That's why if someone quits smoking, we think of him as a great person. 

Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. 
>> Nevertheless, I know some people who quit smoking. 

So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. 
>> So, if he strongly decides to do it and his family helps them, he can do it. 

But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.
>> If they smoke, I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. 
>> CORRECT!

I have two sons. 
>> CORRECT!

One is a high school student and the other is a college student. 
>> CORRECT!

Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. 
>> I repeatedly tell them not to learn to smoke. 

I think prior education is the best.
>> CORRECT!

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