¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I will advise them to stop smoking.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-24 1139

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will advise them to stop smoking. Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person. Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. I have two sons. One is a high school student and the other is a college student. Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. I think prior education is the best.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

As I said, good advice! It is still important for kids to learn on their own. We can educate them well so that they will make proper choices. Parents who are strict with their children without educating them to make children more curious so they tend to try the vice more. I do hope more children get educated.

For today's homework, great sentences! Again, there are sentences best merged into one. Also, very important: please avoid starting your sentences with 'and', 'so', 'but' and 'because'. These might be normal when speaking, but not advisable when writing.

Keep it up, Elliot! I love your thoughts and your essays have great substance.
Have a nice weekend!
-Teacher Violet

I will advise them to stop smoking.
>> CORRECT!

Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking.  
>> Even though I have never smoked, I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. 

So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person.
>> That's why if someone quits smoking, we think of him as a great person. 

Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. 
>> Nevertheless, I know some people who quit smoking. 

So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. 
>> So, if he strongly decides to do it and his family helps them, he can do it. 

But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.
>> If they smoke, I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. 
>> CORRECT!

I have two sons. 
>> CORRECT!

One is a high school student and the other is a college student. 
>> CORRECT!

Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. 
>> I repeatedly tell them not to learn to smoke. 

I think prior education is the best.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116561 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 929
116560 22-02-16 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 647
116559 02.18 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 2
116558 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 849
116557 If you won the lottery, would you still pursue your profession... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 5
116556 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 662
116555 What can you say about where your parents work? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 789
116554 2022.2.17 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 909
116553 2022.2.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 800
116552 What were your worse experience of rejection and best experience... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 603
116551 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 766
116550 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 727
116549 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 562
116548 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 1147
116547 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 679
116546 2/17 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 753
116545 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116544 They say exercise helps improve mood. How? Write at least 5... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 764
116543 Chemical firms on high alert for toughened safety law À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116542 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 642

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04