¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Good evening

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2022-03-24 1226

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ms. Kyu!

Walking is a very healthy and relaxing way of exercise. If you are with someone, you do not even feel tired. So, walk safely in the park whenever you can in Canada. 

As you can see from your sentences below, I have underlined the suggestions I made. Thus, go over them and make sure to use them well always.

Catch you in class soon!

-T. Donna =)

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. 
>>  Perhaps I will go for a walk around the park everyday with my children. 

My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .
>> My house is near many parks and I like to go for a walk .
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119975 June 16th Class Expressions ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 2
119974 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 2
119973 June 14th Class Expressions ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 2
119972 How do you correct one\'s lies? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-19 6
119971 What happens when both parents work? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-19 1142
119970 [Homework] Q. Please tell me about your feeling when you listen... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-19 1
119969 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-19 763
119968 17.June.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-19 2
119967 My place ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-19 1
119966 How can I clean my ears. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 1029
119965 What I dislike and like on birthday party. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 898
119964 Saipan À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 722
119963 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 916
119962 What is your dream house and where do you want it to be ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 852
119961 What do you think would South Korea be like if it still has... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 3
119960 What makes English difficult for you? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 3
119959 6/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 896
119958 In your opinion, how long should kids play video games on... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-18 864
119957 6.17 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 1240
119956 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 2468

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04