¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Good evening

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2022-03-24 844

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ms. Kyu!

Walking is a very healthy and relaxing way of exercise. If you are with someone, you do not even feel tired. So, walk safely in the park whenever you can in Canada. 

As you can see from your sentences below, I have underlined the suggestions I made. Thus, go over them and make sure to use them well always.

Catch you in class soon!

-T. Donna =)

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. 
>>  Perhaps I will go for a walk around the park everyday with my children. 

My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .
>> My house is near many parks and I like to go for a walk .
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117879 What are some of the advantages of cooking your meals at home?... ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 710
117878 What is the best restaurant in your town and what do they serve... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 663
117877 2022.3.30 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 555
117876 What will you do if you are in a restaurant and another Korean... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 0
117875 Do you suffer from nightmares? Can you remember any specific... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 401
117874 What is the best gift you have ever received and why is it so... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 689
117873 Homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 1
117872 As a result of tourism, many historical buildings and sites are... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 6
117871 Thank you! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 632
117870 In many countries recently young single people have been living... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 2
117869 3/30 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 795
117868 What kind of food are you sensitive to? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 481
117867 Handsome is best hahaha ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 622
117866 Simple, Neat, and Comfortable ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 4
117865 Music power is so strong ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 492
117864 Do you collect anything? So when did you start collecting them?... Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 432
117863 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 381
117862 What is the best restaurant in your town and what do they serve... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 731
117861 Tell me about a recent news you\'ve read or heard about. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 469
117860 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 642

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04