¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Good evening

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2022-03-24 865

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ms. Kyu!

Walking is a very healthy and relaxing way of exercise. If you are with someone, you do not even feel tired. So, walk safely in the park whenever you can in Canada. 

As you can see from your sentences below, I have underlined the suggestions I made. Thus, go over them and make sure to use them well always.

Catch you in class soon!

-T. Donna =)

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. 
>>  Perhaps I will go for a walk around the park everyday with my children. 

My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .
>> My house is near many parks and I like to go for a walk .
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117506 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1004
117505 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 832
117504 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 2
117503 Animal cruelty is a crime. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 718
117502 My Weakness ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 650
117501 Where is the best place in your country to see or experience... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 662
117500 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117499 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117498 My weakness ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 732
117497 What makes you happy? ÇÑ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 501
117496 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 872
117495 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 873
117494 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 694
117493 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 947
117492 2022.3.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 763
117491 202.3.15 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 664
117490 Is there anything you dislike about weekends? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117489 Aside from yourself, do you also worry about the health of those... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1288
117488 How do you usually cope with your stress? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1201
117487 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 828

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04