¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Good evening

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2022-03-24 1171

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ms. Kyu!

Walking is a very healthy and relaxing way of exercise. If you are with someone, you do not even feel tired. So, walk safely in the park whenever you can in Canada. 

As you can see from your sentences below, I have underlined the suggestions I made. Thus, go over them and make sure to use them well always.

Catch you in class soon!

-T. Donna =)

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. 
>>  Perhaps I will go for a walk around the park everyday with my children. 

My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .
>> My house is near many parks and I like to go for a walk .
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116230 Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life?... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 437
116229 Hi~~teacher ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 547
116228 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116227 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 814
116226 Do you think change is important? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 433
116225 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 977
116224 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 639
116223 The busiest day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 2
116222 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 767
116221 What is your greatest achievement as a student and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 417
116220 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116219 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116218 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116217 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 553
116216 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1087
116215 Can you forgive your friends easily when they did something bad... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 614
116214 Shorter Impatient ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 831
116213 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 688
116212 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 515
116211 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04