¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is worse, obesity or anorexia?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÎ
2022-03-25 740

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Two diseases are serious problems and develop other complications to people. In my opinion, anorexia creates a worse situation compared with obesity. A person who is obese can lose weight through exercise and diet. From my point of view, obese people get less stressed rather than anorexia. This is because they can eat the foods, and feel happy to lose weight. However, anorexia case is different. The body cannot allow any food, although the patients want to eat and have to increase their weight. They experience many times of vomiting and depression, and these circumstances make them lose weight again. Eating food is one of the basic necessary actings in our lives but it cannot be for them. A lot of articles, anorexia leads to insomnia and lethargy as well. Many experts say this person chooses excessive choice as suicide. In conclusion, anorexia cause more serious symptoms; therefore, it is worse than obesity.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jin!
Anorexia is more serious in one way or another because the appetite for food is still there since the body needs it.  But the way a person thinks is destructible.  It's a psychological problem that must be solved.  Keep on writing more! ^^

~T. Maine


Two diseases are serious problems and develop other complications to people.
>>Correct.
In my opinion, anorexia creates a worse situation compared with obesity.
>>In my opinion, anorexia creates the worse situation compared to obesity.
A person who is obese can lose weight through exercise and diet.
>>Correct.
From my point of view, obese people get less stressed rather than anorexia.
>>Correct.
This is because they can eat the foods, and feel happy to lose weight.
>>This is because they can eat food they want and feel happy to lose weight.
However, anorexia case is different.
>>However, anorexia's case is different.
The body cannot allow any food, although the patients want to eat and have to increase their weight.
>>Correct.
They experience many times of vomiting and depression, and these circumstances make them lose weight again.
>>Correct.
Eating food is one of the basic necessary actings in our lives but it cannot be for them.
>>Eating food is one of the basic necessities in our lives, but not for them.
A lot of articles, anorexia leads to insomnia and lethargy as well.
>>A lot of articles say that anorexia leads to insomnia and lethargy.
Many experts say this person chooses excessive choice as suicide.
>>Correct.
In conclusion, anorexia cause more serious symptoms; therefore, it is worse than obesity.
>>Correct.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117740 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 590
117739 What do you think is the most dangerous eye problem? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 597
117738 What do you think is the best TV show and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 995
117737 3/25 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 914
117736 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1192
117735 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 934
117734 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 921
117733 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 827
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 685
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 548
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 848
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 535
117726 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 752
117725 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1426
117724 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1236
117723 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 698
117722 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1092
117721 HOMEWORK ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 876

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04