¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Good evening!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2022-03-25 789

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hi, teacher!
My family have a very good relationship. My husband and me are elemantary school's friends so we have a lot of same think.
Before we got a marriage many fight but nowadays we don't fight.
My house's mood is very delight and vigorous. Also our children is very happy and fun. We have a enjoying time during travel and watch the movie and we eat delicious food.
Our family have a lot of time together and we are happy!!

P.s. This photo is my family. We went to Hawaii in 2019.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ms. Kyu!

I hope that everything went well with your Zoom meeting with the Canadian agency today. Anyway, this photo looks like you had so much fun and just enjoying yourselves in Hawaii. The sea looks calm and your children are so adorable! I think that you look like your son and your daughter looks like her father.

Anyway, thank you for sharing these information on what your family is like and the things that you all love doing together. Making great memories is the best to remember your children's childhood when they grow older and when you reach old age. So continue making more in the future.

Excellent job on your writing because you used very good vocabulary like 'vigorous'!

See you again in class next week!

-T. Donna =)

My husband and me are elemantary school's friends so we have a lot of same think.
>> My husband and I are elementary school friends so we have a lot of same thinking.

Before we got a marriage many fight but nowadays we don't fight.
>> Before we got married we had many fights but nowadays we don't fight.

My house's mood is very delight and vigorous.
>> My house's mood is very delightful and vigorous.

Also our children is very happy and fun.
>>  Also our children are very happy and fun.

We have a enjoying time during travel and watch the movie and we eat delicious food.
>> We have an enjoyable time during travel and we watch the movie and we eat delicious food.

Our family have a lot of time together and we are happy!!
>> Our family has a lot of time together and we are happy!

P.s. This photo is my family. We went to Hawaii in 2019.
>> Correct!
Or: P.S.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117736 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 932
117735 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 789
117734 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 760
117733 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 681
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 546
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 430
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 718
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 393
117726 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 554
117725 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1251
117724 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1008
117723 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 563
117722 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 932
117721 HOMEWORK ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 679
117720 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117719 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 603
117718 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 3
117717 Thank you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04