무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why don’t all mothers feed their babies on breast milk? Isn’t it much better for the baby than milk

작성자: 김*인
2022-03-29 498

회원님의 영작문

In the past, many people thought babies should eat milk from their mothers' breasts. This situation sometimes made discrimination if they didn't do that. However, modern humans can learn diverse knowledge about a lot of nutrition. People know powder milk can be instead of humans'; therefore, some don't prefer to give breast milk to babies for their health and future. Thesedays people are very sensitive and try to maintain good body shapes. For these reasons, many mothers don't prefer to give their breast milk to the baby. This is because a lot of articles state that breastfeeding can transform the body, such as the spine and shape of the breast. Second of all, powder milk also has enough nutrients for babies as much as breast milk, hence people don't need to wear out their bodies. In my opinion, it depends on people's decisions and milk powder is more helpful to women.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Jin!
I got your point regarding breast milk and mother's body.  But it is more advisable to give breast milk for infants since it has more antibodies that can help babies.  I guess mothers should think about their babies more than their body.  ^^

~T. Maine

In the past, many people thought babies should eat milk from their mothers' breasts.
>>Correct.
This situation sometimes made discrimination if they didn't do that.
>>This situation sometimes discriminates mothers if they don't follow that.
However, modern humans can learn diverse knowledge about a lot of nutrition.
>>However, modern society can learn diverse information about health and nutrition.
People know powder milk can be instead of humans'; therefore, some don't prefer to give breast milk to babies for their health and future.
>>People know that powdered milk can be used instead of breast milk.  Therefore, some don't prefer to give breast milk to their infants. 
Thesedays people are very sensitive and try to maintain good body shapes.
>>These days, people are very sensitive and try to maintain good body figure.
For these reasons, many mothers don't prefer to give their breast milk to the baby.
>>For these reasons, many mothers don't prefer to give their breast milk to their babies.
This is because a lot of articles state that breastfeeding can transform the body, such as the spine and shape of the breast.
>>Correct.
Second of all, powder milk also has enough nutrients for babies as much as breast milk, hence people don't need to wear out their bodies.
>>Second of all, powdered milk also has enough nutrients for babies as much as breast milk.  Hence people don't need to wear out their bodies.
In my opinion, it depends on people's decisions and milk powder is more helpful to women.
>>In my opinion, it depends on people's decisions.  It is factual that breast milk is best for babies, but milk powder is more convenient for mothers.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
116930 3/1 homework 이*유 완료 2022-03-01 746
116929 Is going to coffee shops popular in your country? 김*국 완료 2022-03-01 1
116928 The war between Ukraine and Russia 이*하 완료 2022-03-01 1069
116927 Can you consider inciting a war a solution to diplomatic issues? 김*진 완료 2022-03-01 2
116926 Homework 이*희 완료 2022-03-01 1
116925 Homework 임*숙 완료 2022-03-01 699
116924 homework 김*연 완료 2022-03-01 1247
116923 Homework 하*주 완료 2022-03-01 1000
116922 homework 김*우 완료 2022-03-01 1070
116921 Strawvberry festival. 이*경 완료 2022-03-01 1481
116920 homework 감*우 완료 2022-03-01 0
116919 homework 김*우 완료 2022-03-01 894
116918 Announcement 류*선 완료 2022-03-01 1155
116917 HOMEWORK 박*민 완료 2022-03-01 1
116916 What are some things you do to maintain your car? What are good... 김*국 완료 2022-03-01 1
116915 What are some countries that you would never visit with your... 김*국 완료 2022-03-01 2
116914 What do you think of people who dispose of their pets because... 성*우 완료 2022-03-01 1196
116913 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... 신*섭 완료 2022-03-01 1033
116912 Most South Koreans Support Nuclear Weapons Development 유*진 완료 2022-03-01 1
116911 Discount 민*정 완료 2022-03-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]