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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What disadvantages does wearing school uniforms have?

작성자: 김*인
2022-03-30 925

회원님의 영작문

In some countries, students should wear their uniforms to the school. Some people argue that it has many advantages, but others claim diverse drawbacks exist. They state that it invade freedom and personality, and should spend a lot of money on uniforms. First of all, teenagers cannot consider their preferences due to the strict rules of the school. If they sometimes want to wear other jumpers or jackets because of the weather, it is not allowed. They should maintain their attire whether the climate is hot or cold. In addition, students should spend a lot of money buying clothes. Additionally, students only have one of two uniforms they should wash every they or on other days; they need to spend a lot of water or laundry fee. In conclusion, students cannot be respected for their liberty and individuality, and they should waste their money more.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Jin!
Your idea has a point.  Well, you have to check your spelling when typing or or even writing because it is also important in this skill.  Be patient to proofread your answer before sending. Have a great day! ^^


~T. Maine

In some countries, students should wear their uniforms to the school.
>>Correct.
Some people argue that it has many advantages, but others claim diverse drawbacks exist.
>>Correct.
They state that it invade freedom and personality, and should spend a lot of money on uniforms.
>>They state that it invades freedom and personality, and should spend a lot of money on uniforms.
First of all, teenagers cannot consider their preferences due to the strict rules of the school.
>>Correct.
If they sometimes want to wear other jumpers or jackets because of the weather, it is not allowed.
>>Correct.
They should maintain their attire whether the climate is hot or cold.
>>Correct.
 In addition, students should spend a lot of money buying clothes.
>>Correct.
Additionally, students only have one of two uniforms they should wash every they or on other days; they need to spend a lot of water or laundry fee.
>>Additionally, students only have one or two uniforms they should wash every day or the other days.  They need to spend much water or money to pay for the laundry.
In conclusion, students cannot be respected for their liberty and individuality, and they should waste their money more.
>>Correct.

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