¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think there is still inequality between men and women there in South Korea? Explain your answ

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-01 707

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the discrimination between men and women is still remaining in South Korea.
I think it's not that serious, but there is clearly big and small discrimination in here.
But I think this discrimination will be disappeared because of nowadays educations.
We are learning about the value of each gender, and also the equality of men and women.
Also there is no any big prejudice in my school and other schools.
So I think it is getting better in here, and also we have to educate about it more seriously.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Inequality is never okay. There shouldn't be any boundaries or limitations on what a man or a woman can and can't do. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the discrimination between men and women is still remaining in South Korea.
>> In my opinion, the discrimination between men and women is still on going in South Korea.

I think it's not that serious, but there is clearly big and small discrimination in here.
>> I think it's not that serious, but there's still obvious discrimination here. 

But I think this discrimination will be disappeared because of nowadays educations.
>> But I think this kind of discrimination will disappear because of nowadays education. 

We are learning about the value of each gender, and also the equality of men and women.
>> CORRECT

Also there is no any big prejudice in my school and other schools.
Also, there are no big prejudices in my school and other schools so I think the situation is getting better now. 

So I think it is getting better in here, and also we have to educate about it more seriously
>> We also need to educate people about this more seriously. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117052 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 4
117051 This is what I think about tattoos. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 809
117050 Kids\' jobs is studying students ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 674
117049 What is your favorite game to play? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 770
117048 lesson 9 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 563
117047 Please tell me about your country\'s season? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117046 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 933
117045 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 601
117044 I¡¯m going to give you a situation to act out. You just stepped... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117043 How do you feel about tattoos? When you see somebody with a lot... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 631
117042 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117041 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117040 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117039 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117038 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1058
117037 Are you concerned about Internet privacy? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117036 How do you think should wars be stopped and prevented? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 540
117035 If you were a very rich person, where would you go for your next... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117034 Our thoughts determine our happiness. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 802
117033 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 622

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04