¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

City With Changes

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2022-04-01 1142

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The city is made with a lot of people.
Therefore, it has a lot of energy.
Those energies make a lot of changes.
Some of them are planned and prepared, some of them are made in chaos or coincidence, some of them gives harsh pain, some of them make chances.
Those things have a lot to think, so we lost our thoughts sometimes.
All in all, those things makes own story of city anyway.
And that story makes it fascinating.


p.s Goodbye and thank you (I've been writing this for 50 minutes)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The city is made with a lot of people.

>> The city is made of a lot of people.
Therefore, it has a lot of energy.

>> CORRECT!
Those energies make a lot of changes.

>> CORRECT!
Some of them are planned and prepared, some of them are made in chaos or coincidence, some of them gives harsh pain, some of them make chances.

>> Some of them are planned and prepared, some of them are made in chaos or coincidence, some of them gives harsh pain, and some of them make chances.
Those things have a lot to think, so we lost our thoughts sometimes.

>> Those things have a lot to think, so we lose our thoughts sometimes.
All in all, those things makes own story of city anyway.

>> All in all, those things make the own story of a city.
And that story makes it fascinating.

>> That story makes it fascinating.


-------------------------------------------

Hi Justine,

It's been an honor and a pleasure to have been your teacher and to be part of your growth. 

I wish you all the best in life. I hope you find the happiness and dream that your heart desires.

The only person you should be in competition with is yourself yesterday.

In other words, strive to be better that what you were yesterday and be a better version of yourself with each new day.

Good luck and take care! :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117068 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 3
117067 Shopaholic ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 2
117066 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1416
117065 Researching a Number Concept Assignment °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 629
117064 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 392
117063 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 839
117062 I\'m a passionate... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 1062
117061 2022.3.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 762
117060 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 927
117059 ANSWER YOUER HOMEWORK QUESTION! ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 842
117058 What can you say about people who often miss deadlines? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 838
117057 3/4 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 775
117056 Writing 3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117055 Writing 2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117054 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117053 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 903
117052 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 4
117051 This is what I think about tattoos. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 734
117050 Kids\' jobs is studying students ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 639
117049 What is your favorite game to play? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 692

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04