¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

home work

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Çö
2022-04-01 861

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes. It's gone a lot, but some people still discriminate against men and women.I think it needs to go away quickly.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Do Hyeon! 

Inequality is never okay. There shouldn't be any boundaries or limitations on what a man or a woman can and can't do. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes. It's gone a lot, but some people still discriminate against men and women.
>> Yes, I think so. Most of it is gone but there are still some people who discriminate both men and women. 

I think it needs to go away quickly.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117219 Do you have a pet? What is it\'s name? How did you choose this... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1269
117218 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117217 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1686
117216 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117215 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117214 About children\'s use of social networking sites. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1118
117213 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 620
117212 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1
117211 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1131
117210 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1178
117209 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 974
117208 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117207 Horrible things ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1180
117206 I don\'t like any candidate ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1328
117205 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 858
117204 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 2
117203 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 2
117202 The worst travel ever and the lesson. ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 757
117201 Korea Presidential election À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1
117200 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1481

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04