¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you personally want to have one? Why or wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-05 673

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

People's opinions about this is always different. Either way, we still need to respect people who have tattoos the same on how we treat others who don't. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
>> I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it's a personal choice for people. 

Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
>> Actually, we dress up and decorate our bodies with a lot of things. 

For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
>> For instance, we cut and color our hair. 

And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
>> And I think the tattoos are the same as hair cuts. 

We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
>> We all have the rights to decorate ourselves, and that includes tattoos.

Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.
>> Because of these reason, I think it is a personal choice.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119449 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119448 Do you like business trips? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119447 My wish this summer ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 583
119446 How can loneliness be bad for people¡¯s health? How can lonely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 436
119445 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 618
119444 What kind of diet have you tried? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119443 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119442 What was the best suggestion you have ever received from someone? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 382
119441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 623
119440 about buying things ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119439 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 4
119438 Do you think everyone should have a holiday from school or work... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 527
119437 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 626
119436 How much time ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 3
119435 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119434 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119433 What is the meaning of \"give and take\"? what does this mean to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 560
119432 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 961
119431 What festivals or celebrations does your country have during the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119430 What are the pros and cons of eating out? ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 495

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04