¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you personally want to have one? Why or wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-05 797

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

People's opinions about this is always different. Either way, we still need to respect people who have tattoos the same on how we treat others who don't. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
>> I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it's a personal choice for people. 

Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
>> Actually, we dress up and decorate our bodies with a lot of things. 

For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
>> For instance, we cut and color our hair. 

And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
>> And I think the tattoos are the same as hair cuts. 

We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
>> We all have the rights to decorate ourselves, and that includes tattoos.

Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.
>> Because of these reason, I think it is a personal choice.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118554 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 628
118553 home ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1238
118552 Bad Experience ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 680
118551 about discussions with other people À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 525
118550 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 568
118549 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 491
118548 Introduce ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 561
118547 What was the lamest excuse you had before? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 640
118546 What do you plan on doing when you retire? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 675
118545 Test ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 490
118544 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118543 2022.4.26 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 409
118542 What does the holiday stand for? Why is this holiday celebrated? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 637
118541 best part of my life ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 643
118540 What is your best experience in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 474
118539 Homewark ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118538 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118537 4/26 homework (p≧w≦q) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 466
118536 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118535 What I want to change in Korea\'s education system. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 548

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04