¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-04-08 543

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think you need to be a celebrity unless you're thinking about it. I try something else when I do it. Appearances aren't everything.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, it's our character that stands out in a crowd. We need to express self-love and show it to the world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't think you need to be a celebrity unless you're thinking about it.
 >> I don't think you need to have plastic surgery to be a celebrity unless you are thinking about it. 

I try something else when I do it. 
>> I would try something else when I think of doing it. 

Appearances aren't everything.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116945 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 435
116944 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 540
116943 03.01 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 0
116942 Study Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 483
116941 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 466
116940 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 533
116939 How could public transport in your city be improved? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 596
116938 What do you think are the different reasons for people to want... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 3970
116937 2022.3.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 479
116936 How do you understand inflation? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 716
116935 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 790
116934 I think it\'s acutally not sad story :) Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 743
116933 If you were a very rich person, Where would you go for your next... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 495
116932 Do you think ego also affects a person\'s leadership? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116931 What food can you cook or prepare well? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116930 3/1 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 644
116929 Is going to coffee shops popular in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116928 The war between Ukraine and Russia ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 880
116927 Can you consider inciting a war a solution to diplomatic issues? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116926 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04