¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful? Wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-08 346

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it's unnecessary to have plastic surgery if I am famous.
We don't judge the people with their appearances.
The most important thing is how the people think and the personalities of the people.
Because of these reasons, it is unnecessary to have plastic surgery if we are famous.
But we can do it if we want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Yes, it's our character that stands out in a crowd. We need to express self-love and show it to the world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, it's unnecessary to have plastic surgery if I am famous.
>> CORRECT

We don't judge the people with their appearances.
>> We don't judge people based on their appearances.

The most important thing is how the people think and the personalities of the people.
>> The most important thing is how a person thinks and their personality. 

Because of these reasons, it is unnecessary to have plastic surgery if we are famous.
>> CORRECT

But we can do it if we want.
>> But we can do it if we want to as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118838 What are some of the benefits and disadvantages of electric cars? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 1
118837 Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-09 0
118836 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 3
118835 Some people prefer to use energy-saving modes of transportation... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 0
118834 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 0
118833 What is the implication of having an aging population? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 296
118832 What is the hardest part of your job? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 2
118831 Is learning English stressful? Please tell me your reasons. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 462
118830 Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 1
118829 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 1
118828 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 345
118827 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 1
118826 Spenting much money ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 2
118825 Writing Task (May 3th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 252
118824 Writing Task (May 6th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 243
118823 Writing Task (May 5th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 254
118822 Writing Task(May 2nd, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-08 359
118821 5/6 writing homework is here ^^ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-07 334
118820 [Homework] 2. Where you live ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-07 3
118819 Do you like to travel by airplane? / How old were you when you... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04