¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful? Wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-08 439

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it's unnecessary to have plastic surgery if I am famous.
We don't judge the people with their appearances.
The most important thing is how the people think and the personalities of the people.
Because of these reasons, it is unnecessary to have plastic surgery if we are famous.
But we can do it if we want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Yes, it's our character that stands out in a crowd. We need to express self-love and show it to the world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, it's unnecessary to have plastic surgery if I am famous.
>> CORRECT

We don't judge the people with their appearances.
>> We don't judge people based on their appearances.

The most important thing is how the people think and the personalities of the people.
>> The most important thing is how a person thinks and their personality. 

Because of these reasons, it is unnecessary to have plastic surgery if we are famous.
>> CORRECT

But we can do it if we want.
>> But we can do it if we want to as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117038 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 877
117037 Are you concerned about Internet privacy? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117036 How do you think should wars be stopped and prevented? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 393
117035 If you were a very rich person, where would you go for your next... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117034 Our thoughts determine our happiness. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 593
117033 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 471
117032 What accent do you find most fascinating? Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 673
117031 Stop the War ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 704
117030 What is your opinion of the meals you are served on board? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 2
117029 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117028 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117027 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 704
117026 Who\'s music encourages you most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 465
117025 What do you expect from the university? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1456
117024 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 515
117023 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117022 If you were a very rich person, where would you go for your next... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 831
117021 Study Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 524
117020 How do you usually introduce yourself when calling someone? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117019 2022.3.3 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 605

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04