¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Post Everything on Social Media

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹Î
2022-04-12 685

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that people need to post everything on social media. This is because that's really stress to myself. People don't satisfied just to post and that posters will get on one's nerves. Perhaps they will continue watch their phone to check the posters, because the posters usually have the heart and comments. So, they can't concentrate on working and life. I think that for this reason.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kate!
You're back! 
I'm glad you're writing again.
This will be very good for your development.
I hope you continue to work hard every day.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't think that people need to post everything on social media. 
>> Correct
This is because that's really stress to myself. 
>> This is because it would really be stressful for me. 
People don't satisfied just to post and that posters will get on one's nerves. 
>> People are not satisfied with just posting and they can get restless.
Perhaps they will continue watch their phone to check the posters, because the posters usually have the heart and comments. 
>> Perhaps they will continue to look at their phones to check the posts because they usually have likes and comments. 
So, they can't concentrate on working and life. 
>> Correct
I think that for this reason.
>> I think this is the reason. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119304 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 657
119303 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 1
119302 The natural disaster ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119301 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 1
119300 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 458
119299 What questions do they ask when going through immigration at the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 547
119298 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 629
119297 What animal best represents you? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119296 Writing Task(May 19th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 829
119295 5.24 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 632
119294 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 615
119293 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 690
119292 What common family problem which is not too serious do you... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 7
119291 5/24 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 724
119290 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 0
119289 Why do you think it is important to be open-minded and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119288 Korea traffic jam ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 678
119287 About food ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 6
119286 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 3
119285 To calm down my anger ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 813

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04