¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Post Everything on Social Media

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹Î
2022-04-12 531

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that people need to post everything on social media. This is because that's really stress to myself. People don't satisfied just to post and that posters will get on one's nerves. Perhaps they will continue watch their phone to check the posters, because the posters usually have the heart and comments. So, they can't concentrate on working and life. I think that for this reason.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kate!
You're back! 
I'm glad you're writing again.
This will be very good for your development.
I hope you continue to work hard every day.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't think that people need to post everything on social media. 
>> Correct
This is because that's really stress to myself. 
>> This is because it would really be stressful for me. 
People don't satisfied just to post and that posters will get on one's nerves. 
>> People are not satisfied with just posting and they can get restless.
Perhaps they will continue watch their phone to check the posters, because the posters usually have the heart and comments. 
>> Perhaps they will continue to look at their phones to check the posts because they usually have likes and comments. 
So, they can't concentrate on working and life. 
>> Correct
I think that for this reason.
>> I think this is the reason. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118124 The foods of our ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-10 2
118123 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-10 1
118122 If you will invest your money in something, what would it be and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-09 555
118121 2022.4.8 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-09 598
118120 Having more and less free time is better than earning less money... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-09 1
118119 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 364
118118 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 2
118117 4/8 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 392
118116 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 1557
118115 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 383
118114 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 397
118113 I prefer written test ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 712
118112 Can you tell me when people being dishonest with you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 644
118111 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118110 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118109 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118108 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118107 My English performance evaluation ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 540
118106 What qualities do you appreciate in your friends? What makes... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 3
118105 Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 519

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04