¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What video game do you think is best and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-22 560

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, Minecraft is the best game I ever played.
I can do a lot of things in the game, and also it's interesting everyday.
Also it is keep updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.
I can play some maps that are made by other players, and also I can play with other players.
Because of these reasons, I think that Minecraft is the best game that I ever played.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Most kids nowadays love that! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

In my opinion, Minecraft is the best game I ever played.
>> CORRECT

I can do a lot of things in the game, and also it's interesting everyday.
>> I can do a lot of things in that game, and it's very interesting to play everyday.

Also it is keep updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.
>> It keeps on updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.

I can play some maps that are made by other players, and also I can play with other players.
>> I can play on some maps that are made by other players, and play with other players too. 

Because of these reasons, I think that Minecraft is the best game that I ever played.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121233 Does the weather affect your mood? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 625
121232 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 0
121231 What are you looking forward to in your future English classes? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 702
121230 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1068
121229 Why do you think respecting others\' opinions is important in... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 766
121228 My neighborhood ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 795
121227 What is a very good technology regardless of time? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1336
121226 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1083
121225 H.W 1st, August ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1120
121224 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 0
121223 review and homework À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1
121222 How do you maintain your good skills? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1089
121221 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1
121220 considering ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1
121219 What kind of support should children give their aging parents? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 2
121218 English became the second mother tongue ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1
121217 Apart from humans, which animal would you say is the most... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1489
121216 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 737
121215 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1158
121214 In your opinion, are dress codes important? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1288

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04